Basics of Health

Health Problems

I am not a doctor, but I play one on the Internet. I believe health problems can be divided into two major categories: symptomatic and chronic.

Symptomatic Problems

Symptomatic problems are those that are generally imposed from outside or involve treating specific symptoms. I heard Dr. Weil says that if is his arm was cut off, he would want to be taken to a hospital. This is the realm of conventional and traditional medicine. 

Crutches are a good symbol of symptomatic medicine. For symptomatic problems we want to support our own bodies ability to heal to bring us back to health.

Chronics Problems

Chronic problems are the ones that last for a long time, and can easily be life long. These include heart burn/reflux, chronic fatigue syndrome, and cardiovascular disease. 

If you look for remedies for chronic conditions you will have a hard time finding clear remedies. The problem is that in most cases there is a fundamental problem with our overall health. 

The exact treatment depends upon the individual, but most people respond best to the same things that make us happy and healthy overall: low stress, a good diet (mostly fruits and vegetables), and moderate exercise (like walking). This is in some sense common sense. We might debate the merits of what exactly a good diet is, but these things are subtleties. 

The other good news is that basic health also minimizes symptomatic health issues as well as prevents them. Stress for example makes you more prone to injury. All of these together minimize your chances of cancer and heart attacks.

Metta Meditation: Using Love to Help Heal Trauma

I have been diagnosed with complex PTSD and I have a severe history of abuse and neglect.  I have learned many techniques over the years and many have been exceptionally helpful.  These include: support groups, psychodynamic therapy, DBT, CBT, yoga, and vocational therapy among others.

All of these things are like different exercises that you might do at the gym, and like those exercise have some benefits in relation to some aspect of my trauma, but none of them can solve all my problems. Furthermore, each of them has downsides. Psychodynamic therapy is expensive. CBT can get me too into my head. Overall, like exercising your body you often need multiple methods to keep you fit.

There is however one technique that seems to always work for me on some level. This is the meditative practice of cultivating love and compassion called metta. We try to think of people and develop a feeling of warm hearted compassion for them.

Do not confuse this with open acceptance of the rights and wrongs or letting people take advantage of you. In my case, I can develop a feeling of warm heartedness towards my deceased mother who hurt me dearly without supporting the harmful things she did. Developing compassion is about being able to wish the best for any person and develop respect for them even if you don't agree with their point of view.

Here is what I like to do. First, every day I try to set aside at least 15 minutes. I find I can do this when going to bed, during a middle of the night waking, first thing when I wake up in the morning, or anytime I have a few minutes to spare.

Second, I try to come up with a group of people to think about. It could be all of my family members. It could be that I go through the alphabet and try to find one person whom I know for each letter of the alphabet.  It could be old girlfriends, old classmates, people I met yesterday, or parents at school. I like to mix it up to keep it fresh and always be reminded of all the people in this world who I have known.

Then, person by person I bring the person to mind as vividly as I can and I imagine saying the words to the "May you be happy. May you know peace. May you know all the causes and conditions of happiness. May you be truly happy." Sometimes I follow this with personal loving comments directly related to them. Sometimes I add a prayer.

What also helps, is that after each person I also think about how my physical body feels. I notice the entire feeling in my body from my head to my toes. The feelings in my face, my arms, my back, and all over. Sometimes the improvement is almost not noticeable, but as I go through more people and practice regularly there is definite improvement.

Parenting: Half an Hour a Day

I grew up in an extremely abusive and neglectful family and life. So like most people my parents were far from perfect. So I try to think about what could have been different. While the ideal would have been for them to get their act together, that's not realistic.  That's a difficult a disk for any of us. However if there was one thing my parents could have done, it would have been to spend a half an hour a day with me.

By "half an hour a day", I don't me simply being in the room or house with me or watching TV, but just sitting down with me and whatever I was doing. They would not really have had to even talk. They would not have had to play. They could still have their issues. However, I would have wanted them to just be there and not be doing anything else. No cleaning. No household chores. No phone calls.  Just sitting one on one with me. Just present with me.

As a parent sitting like this is hard, but I think it demonstrates many things that are useful to a child. First, it shows that the parents are available physically and to a large degree emotionally. This builds a sense of safety.

Second, it builds stability. Knowing that I would have had some quality time with my parents on a consistent basis provides order to my life. Something I can count on each day.

Third, it nurtures self-esteem. Just being, regardless of what I am doing, would have said that I am okay just as I am, doing whatever it is that I do. As a parent, I find just sitting builds my own self-esteem as well, and that I provide a role model to my children.

Have you tried just sitting with your child for a half an hour and just being without doing anything? It really challenges your sense of self worth and you have to learn to accept that who you are, just as you are, is good enough. This mirrored back to the child.

Fourth, having my parents be there in this way would have allowed my physical body to relax and just sit. No need for constant activity and distracting. Just letting my mind rest. In a way it would have been like a form of childhood meditation.

Even as  I child I think I could have understood how crazy my mother was and separated her craziness from my self-esteem. I could understand how she has other things in life she has to attend to. My self-esteem would have been stronger and I would be much more prepared emotionally for all the trauma that occurred in all aspects of my life. I would have been much more able to survive the abuses from everyone. I would have more strength to face the injustice and realize it wasn't me.

So my goal is to spend at least a half an hour a day with my kids everyday.